Leading with Authenticity: Why it’s Time to Break Up with Toxic Positivity

You know that one friend who insists you “look on the bright side” while your world is crumbling? Well, that’s classic toxic positivity. It’s frustrating when people ask you to keep a positive outlook no matter how difficult a situation is – ignoring your real emotions about it. While this is unhealthy in every aspect of life, it’s a great hinderance in the work environment too.

In leadership, toxic positivity is when the team’s struggles are overlooked and they are instead told “think of it as a challenge, we always find a way.” This can be considered genuine positivity and motivation, however in some cases, this can be to deflect from working towards solutions and having difficult conversations.

Take the recent example of our globally renowned baristas; Starbucks employees were recently instructed to leave happy messages on customer’s cups despite having raised the fact that they are overworked and underpaid. This is a classic example of toxic positivity; it just places a band aid on real issues instead of addressing them.

As opposed to healthy encouragement, toxic positivity can push your team to burn out and “just stay positive” is not always great advice, and never a genuine solution to workplace barriers.

Signs of Toxic Positivity in Leadership  

1. Brushing off concerns 

A tell-tale sign of toxic positivity is when leaders brush off genuine concerns with overly simplistic responses. This doesn't just dismiss the issue but shows a lack of empathy and understanding from the leader.

For example, if a department is collectively struggling to hit an unrealistic deadline and the department’s head says, “just stay positive, you’ll get it done.” In this instance, the struggle is belittled or minimized, showing the team that the leader isn’t genuinely listening or concerned.

2. Forcing Happiness 

This is when leaders expect their teams to maintain an upbeat attitude no matter what. This can be done through imposing “no negativity” rules in meetings, where employees cannot discuss anything in a negative manner. This directly discourages open communication about the struggles the team is facing.  

3. Avoiding Hard Conversations 

Leaders who give in to toxic positivity often avoid hard conversations or use their positive delusions as a shield. This is most common in conversations about lay offs, budget cuts, and structural changes. For example, they’ll sugarcoat negative feedback instead of providing genuine constructive criticism.  

4. Minimizing Struggles 

While gratitude is important, it should not come at the cost of guilt tripping your employees for expressing their struggles. For example, if a team member discusses their workload or pay and the leader responds with “At least you have a job in this economy.”  

This is a classic example of belittling team struggles, and is counterproductive beyond measure, massive no-go here at Sensate and Sensate Talent.

The High Cost of Relentless Positivity 

The reality is that leaders that rely on “negative” positivity are burdensome (see what I did there). The impact that toxic positivity has on a team is absolutely draining, here are 4 negative outcomes that you should expect when you spot toxic positivity.

1. Suppresses honest communication – if a team member is consistently met with unrealistic positivity and no real solutions, it discourages the team from sharing concerns and being transparent. Once the transparency is gone, so is the ease of collaboration.

   
   

2. Leads to burn out – this is an obvious one, if a team is overworking under the guise of “pushing through,” the point of burn out is always just around the corner. 

   
   

3. Culture of denial – Avoiding problems instead of addressing them is classic denial. When there’s a culture of denial looming over a team, they no longer look for genuine solutions because they’re not even addressing the issue head-on.

   
   

4. No trust in leadership – This is perhaps the most detrimental, if the senior leader consistently relies on positivity to mask issues, they’re out of touch with reality, making them difficult to work with.

   
   

A Better Way Forward: Real Positivity, Not Toxicity

Leaders who rely on toxic positivity use it as a crutch, to avoid conflict or difficult conversations with their set of leaders. What they don’t realize is that a company truly thrives when everybody is heard, validated, and supported.

To turn the morale around, here’s some approaches that leaders can adopt.

1. Validate Employee Concerns  

Learn to acknowledge the struggles and work together on solving or minimizing the issue at hand. Managers that show support and solidarity to their team create departments that thrive.

2. Constructive problem solving 

A proactive approach is far more effective than false security in optimism. To provide constructive solutions, you have to be open to listening to the problem and understanding it fully, before deciding your response. A lot of times, people who rely on relentless positivity respond before they know the full picture.

3. Create psychological safety

Try to actually abide by the saying that, “my door is always open.” Allow your team to express their frustrations without the fear of judgement or misunderstanding, you can do this by practicing active listening.

4. Lead with authenticity

Learn to be positive but also realistic. Teams thrive under a leader that is transparent and sees things for what they are, this allows them to adopt a realistic approach to solving problems. The balance is the goal here, getting rid of positivity isn’t the goal; it’s to work alongside it as a tool of encouragement rather than a band aid.

Written by Mehak Shoaib in collaboration with Ben Safra